


Save You Back

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Vegas, Episode: s05e19 Vegas, Gambling, Jailbait!Rodney, M/M, Repaying Debt, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 21:34:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2556542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John isn't sure why he's offering to take Rodney in. This isn't the first time he's come across a street kid during an investigation. And others had it worse than Rodney.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save You Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [popkin16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/popkin16/gifts).
  * Inspired by [McShep Gifset: AU Vegas AU: In which Detective John Sheppard opens his home to a street kid, who wastes no time enticing the detective.](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/81263) by popkin16. 



> When I saw popkin16's Vegas AU gifset, my mind went to places. Not quite porny places unfortunately. In fact, the end feels a bit harlequin-ish. (This was written from shaky memory of the episode. Since Rodney is so much younger, this is an AU of the Vegas AU anyway.)
> 
> There's mention of Rodney selling his body for money, John having one-night-stands, and suicidal thoughts. It all turns out well, though.

John isn't sure why he's offering to take Rodney in. This isn't the first time he's come across a street kid during an investigation. And others had it worse than Rodney.

Rodney's smart. Maybe too smart for his own good. John can imagine all too clearly how Rodney could meet his end, lying dead in the street. It wouldn't be drugs. Rodney's too smart for that. But he's also got a big mouth and no censor and that's the kind of thing that will get you killed.

And for some reason John doesn't want that. So he's offering up his home—if you want to call a tiny apartment that; it certainly doesn't feel like one—and even his bed. He falls asleep on the couch more often than not anyway. The quiet of the bedroom only makes it easier to think.

He doesn't think about why he's taken Rodney in either. There's nothing good on TV, but John watches anyway, trying to ignore the noises of Rodney in the bathroom. When Rodney's done, he steps up to the couch, standing between John and the TV.

John looks up at him, wondering what he wants. Rodney's too old for a bed time story, and John has shown him the bedroom. "Can't sleep?" John asks.

Rodney doesn't answer. His gaze travels down John's body—clad in t-shirt and sweat pants now—and then back up, sending a shiver down John's spine. Then Rodney comes closer, skewed lips parting. He straddles John, and there's no doubt at all what he's offering.

"Ah, no," John says, holding Rodney's hands by the wrists before he can close his arms around John's neck.

"Don't tell me you don't want it," Rodney says, grinning knowingly. "I've seen the way you look at me."

John takes a deep breath. He's not into kids. He's not even into twinks. But there's something about Rodney that draws him in, something that isn't about his undeniable prettiness and the distracting mouth. There is a defiance in Rodney that shatters John for reasons he doesn't want to examine too closely.

But even if he can't deny his attraction, he will not act on it. "No," he says again, pushing Rodney's arms down and keeping him from coming closer and rubbing off on John.

Rodney raises an eyebrow. "Then what are you going to do with me?"

That's an excellent question. John doesn't say anything, breathing in and out once, twice, three times. "Nothing," he says.

Rodney's eyes narrow. "You'll just let me stay?"

"You could do laundry if it makes you feel better," John suggests.

A small smile forms on Rodney's lips, and John smiles in return. Rodney climbs off of him and slips onto the couch next to John. He's sitting close enough that their bodies touch, but he's not making a move on John again. "Anything good on?" he asks.

"Not really," John says. "I just like to wind down after work."

Rodney turns and watches him intently, making John twitch. He feels as if Rodney knows exactly what John is doing and why. But Rodney doesn't say anything and eventually gets up. "I guess it's good night then."

"Night," John says.

"You sure you don't want to join me?" Rodney offers.

"Absolutely certain," John says. He's made a lot of mistakes in his life, but fucking a sixteen-year-old street kid is not going to be one of them.

"Hmm," Rodney only says and leaves John alone.

John keeps his eyes on the screen until he falls asleep.

~~

Sharing his tiny apartment with Rodney is not as much of a change as John thought it would be. It feels surprisingly natural to have dinner together and talk late into the night.

Rodney's started watching movies and TV shows that John grew up with. He's also cleaning the house and doing laundry. John doesn't ask what else he does during the day.

The first evening when he came back home, John half-expected to find the apartment completely empty. Not that there was much worth stealing. But Rodney hadn't left, and he sticks around, day after day, week after week.

He flirts with John every now and then. He sometimes leans into John when they sit on the couch together. If John had a long night, Rodney wakes him up gently stroking his face.

But John never lets it go too far. He doesn't have a lot of pride left, but he'd like to still be able to look into the mirror without loathing himself. The disappointment is bad enough. He's flunked his detective exam twice. He's barely managing not to gamble his life away. But at least he's not screwing things up with Rodney so far.

Being with Rodney is the best part of his day, but he tries not to get too used to it. This can't last. So he goes out. He has one-night-stands that are even more meaningless than they used to be. He drinks a little too much, works a little too much, and gambles a little too much.

He's still got everything under control, though. Mikey hasn't sent anyone after him yet. He probably knows that John's not stupid enough to think he can get away with not paying his debt. A few pay checks and he'll be good again. Or sooner if he can play his hand right.

Still, one day it occurs to John that he should probably warn Rodney. "You're not letting anyone in while I'm gone, are you? I mean strangers." Rodney gives him a quizzical look, so John clarifies. "If someone you don't know knocks, just pretend you're not here."

"Is this about Mikey?" Rodney asks. John pales. "It won't be a problem."

"What?" John asks, heart sinking.

"You're off the hook from him, aren't you? Or is he still after you?" Rodney asks.

"No," John says tonelessly. He hasn't heart from Mikey at all. Even if he _does_ trust John not to be stupid, that doesn't make sense, John realizes. At the very least, Mikey would _remind_ him that John owes him. "What did you—" The words die in his mouth as he imagines Rodney on the couch or on his knees. "Did he—" Bile rises in him.

"He's not into guys," Rodney says.

John can only think of one way that Rodney would find that out. "You offered..."

"He threatened you. And me," Rodney says. John is feeling sick. "I took care of it," Rodney adds. It's one of the times where he seems older than he is.

"Took care of it..." John echoes hollowly.

"It wasn't a big deal. I don't mind it, and you wouldn't believe how much some guys will pay to be called daddy and to be allowed to be a bit rough. It's not like I was a virgin before," Rodney finishes defiantly.

John stands up, but his knees feel weak, and he abruptly sits down again.

"John," Rodney says carefully, putting a hand on his arm. "It's okay."

"Okay?!" John asks. He can feel that he's on the verge of becoming hysterical. Is this what his life has become? It's no longer enough to screw himself over, he has to drag a kid into it now, a kid who whores himself out on the street to pay off John's debt. Why did he even bother not shoving his own dick down his throat? Why does he even get out of bed every morning? Why doesn't he just do the world a favor, take his sidearm and—

"John," Rodney says firmly, taking John's face in his hands. His big, blue eyes are full of worry. Then he kisses John.

Every shred of rationality left in John shouts at him that this is wrong, but his mouth opens up and his arms wind around Rodney, holding on for dear life. He kisses Rodney like he wanted to for too long, putting all the affection and growing attachment into it. This isn't about lust. This isn't about the body that Rodney sold for John. It's holding on to the only thing in John's life that still matters.

And it matters enough that John will change.

No more gambling. No more drinking. He'll pass that fucking exam. And he'll send Rodney to school. The only thing he says to Rodney is, "This will never happen again." Rodney looks crushed, and John realizes he thought he meant the kiss. "You'll never have to pay off my debts again." Rodney's eyes light up. He leans in for another kiss, but John stops him. "I won't have sex with you." Rodney deflates. "But..." John can't help himself. He needs that connection right now. He kisses Rodney again.

~~

Rodney's not at all happy about going back to school. "Please. I learn more in two hours with your crappy little notebook and an internet connection than a full day at school."

"An internet connection won't allow you to go to college or university," John points out.

There's something in Rodney's eyes. "How would I pay for that?"

"Scholarship? You're certainly smart enough for it," John says.

Rodney's still not happy, but he relents. He also helps John learn for his detective exam. Giving up drinking and gambling is surprisingly easy.

Resisting Rodney is a lot harder. After kissing him for what felt like hours when John found out about what had happened to his debt, Rodney's become more flirtatious, sometimes downright seductive. But John isn't giving in. He'll kiss him every now and then, and they'll cuddle on the couch, but when Rodney starts to initiate more than that, John stops him.

"I don't know why you're fighting this," Rodney says one day.

"You're sixteen," John says.

"I'm almost seventeen," Rodney says.

"And I'm thirty-five," John points out. "Nearly _twenty_ years," John spells it out for him as if Rodney couldn't do the calculation himself.

"Who cares?" Rodney says. "When I'm thirty, you're forty-nine. When I'm seventy, you're not even ninety. That's practically the same."

"When you're seventy, I'll be dead," John says.

"But you're not dead now," Rodney says.

John doesn't know how to convince him. He gets that Rodney feels grateful and has a crush on him. But Rodney needs someone his own age, and eventually he'll find that someone, and then he'll leave John anyway, and his crush on John will be bittersweet at best and an embarrassing memory at worst.

"What are you waiting for?" Rodney asks.

John doesn't dare say, "For you to get over this crush." He knows that Rodney would protest. He's not sure he wants to hear what exactly Rodney would say.

"Do you want to wait until I'm eighteen? Doesn't matter in Nevada," Rodney says.

"It matters to me," John says.

"So eighteen?" Rodney asks.

It's over a year until then. Now that Rodney's in school and around other kids, John is quite confident that he'll find someone more suitable in the meantime. "Eighteen," John says.

Rodney's eyes narrow. "You don't think I'll still want it then. You think I'll just forget about it."

John doesn't deny it.

"You'll see," Rodney says. "And I'll hold you to it."

John only nods.

~~

John passes his detective exam, and Rodney goes back to school. He's annoyed with homework, his teachers, and the curriculum, but John still thinks he's happier than sitting at home all day.

One day John comes home to find Rodney with a boy his age. They're sitting at the kitchen table with their books.

John's heart clenches at the sight. For all that he believes that Rodney will find a guy his own age, for all that the rational part of him _wants_ it for Rodney, it breaks his heart a little to imagine Rodney with someone else. And he imagines how his own youth never was.

No, he can't stand in the way of Rodney's happiness. He excuses himself to give Rodney and his new friend some space. He goes into a bar and orders a non-alcoholic drink, watching whatever runs on the TV and trying not to look at the time and wonder what Rodney is doing right now.

It's late when John comes home. "Had a good time with your...friend?" he asks.

Rodney gives him a look. "You know how it is," he says. "We're teenagers. I fucked him, then we blew each other, then he fucked me."

John swallows. This shouldn't hurt at all, and yet...

Rodney rolls his eyes. "He's straight, moron. I just helped him with math."

"Uh," John says dumbly.

Rodney walks over to him. "I'm still waiting for you to come to your senses, you idiot." Then he pulls John into a kiss.

"Rodney," John protests half-heartedly.

"I know, I know. No sex. But kissing is fine," Rodney says.

John knows he should put a stop to it, but the thought of having lost Rodney to someone else is a bit too fresh on his mind, so he gives in and lets Rodney pull him to the couch.

~~

By the time Rodney turns eighteen, he's still not shown any signs of getting over his crush on John. John is still convinced that sleeping with Rodney is a bad idea, but he knows that after promising Rodney he'd give in when he turned eighteen, he can't back down again. Rodney wouldn't let it go, and John still doesn't know what to say. Because he does want Rodney, more now rather than less.

John's had a few one-night-stands in the last year, mostly to confirm that he could still get it up for other people. His masturbation fantasies have been dominated by thoughts of Rodney's hands and mouth and body for a long time. Rodney also looks older now. He's still gangly and pretty, but definitely no longer a child, and John doesn't feel as bad as he used to thinking about doing things with that body.

Rodney gives him knowing looks for days before his actual birthday. John knows that there's no way out. He takes the day off, but insists that Rodney goes to school when Rodney wakes him with a deep kiss.

John can't stop thinking about what they're going to do that night, and before lunch he gives in and masturbates. He even tries to bake a cake for Rodney. It breaks apart when he extracts it from the baking form, but John manages to glue it back together and slather it in icing until his mishap is hardly noticeable.

Rodney is amused when he sees the cake. John half expects him to ignore it in favor of dragging John to bed immediately, but they eat some cake and then Rodney takes a shower and dresses before coming out again.

John is nervous, which seems ridiculous. Rodney steps up to him and wordlessly looks at him for a long moment. Then he speaks calmly. "This is what's going to happen tonight: You're going to fuck me until I come with no stimulation other than your huge cock inside me. Then we can relax until I get it up again and can fuck you. It's okay if you don't come a second time."

John forgets everything as they undress and touch and kiss and caress each other. Rodney's every bit as enticing as John knew he would be. His skin is pale and smooth, his ass is perky and oh so tight when John sinks into him. He fucks Rodney in short strokes, making him moan with every thrust.

Rodney meets every thrust, opening up for John and begging for more with words and body.

John fucks him until Rodney freezes and comes, making John spill into the tight ass as it clenches around him.

"That was only part one," Rodney promises between pants, and John playfully nibbles on his neck.

"I can't wait for you to fuck me," he says. Because he can't. It's been a long time. It's been even longer with someone who mattered. He's not sure if he's ever been fucked by anyone who mattered more to him than Rodney, but he chooses not to think about that today.

Rodney is careful at first, and then forceful as he powers into John. It's too soon for John to get hard again. But Rodney doesn't seem to mind, fucking John with lustful grunts and praises until he reaches his climax.

They fall asleep together in bed that night. In the darkness John can't help but think about the future. This isn't the happy ending for them. Soon Rodney will graduate high school and get scholarships from schools vying to call this young genius one of theirs. And John will be left alone with maybe a phone call and an email every now and then. It will be for the better and what John had always hoped for Rodney, but—

"John. Stop thinking," Rodney interrupts his thoughts. "I'm way better at it."

John snorts.

"I'm not leaving you. But let's not ruin our first night together with such a discussion."

John wants to protest, but Rodney lays an arm over his chest and snuggles into his side, and John relaxes and falls asleep.

~~

John's still not sure how it happened, but a few months later, he's across the country in Cambridge, living with Rodney in a small apartment off campus.

He's still not convinced being with Rodney is a good idea. He feels old among all the students in town, and he doesn't really warm up to his new colleagues either.

John's been more of a loner in Vegas too, but it felt more natural there. John feels like he's hiding something when he doesn't talk about Rodney, but at the same time he cannot be open about his relationship with him. It would open up too many questions that John doesn't know how to answer.

Rodney at least is flourishing in his new environment. He still thinks he's smarter than everyone else, but at least here not everyone around him is an idiot. John is happy for him, and watching Rodney excitedly recount what he did that day is among the highlights of John's life.

He still doesn't feel quite comfortable here, and he's bored when Rodney's not around, which is quite often when he stays in the labs or the library.

For John's 38th birthday, Rodney takes him out to Hanscom Field in Bedford. "A flight?" John asks. It's been forever since he's piloted an aircraft. He'd done it once after being kicked out of the Air Force, but it had hurt so much that he'd never done it again. But now that he stands next to a plane, he can feel the call of the sky.

"A plane," Rodney clarifies.

"What?" John asks.

"It's yours," Rodney says proudly.

"But how—"

"I didn't sell my body if that's what you're thinking," Rodney says defensively.

"I didn't..." John says. He's kind of speechless. "How could you afford this?" he still has to ask.

"Between scholarships and tutoring and agreeing to be study buddy in exchange for manual labor... It's small and old, but perfectly safe and yours," Rodney finishes.

"I don't know what to say," John says.

"Do you want to take her up?" Rodney asks.

"Join me?" John asks. He knows Rodney's not too fond of tight places, but he'd love to have him along.

"All right," Rodney says. John smiles brightly.

It's wonderful to be back in the air. Rodney is radiating nervousness behind him, but John still can't help grinning from ear to ear. He can have this any time he wants now. Well, in his free time. It's still the most amazing gift he's ever received.

John doesn't stay in the air too long, mindful that Rodney is longing to be back on the ground. "Thank you!" he says when they land. Then he takes Rodney in his arms and kisses him. He doesn't even care if anyone sees them.

Rodney's eyes widen. "You really missed flying, huh?"

"It's not just flying." John says. "As a pilot..." He trails off. He wanted to say that he felt useful, but that implies that he feels useless now, which isn't quite the truth.

"Then maybe you should go back to being a pilot," Rodney suggests. "I think you can get a certificate as an instructor here. And you could offer your services as a pilot and the plane for rent. We can live on my scholarships for a while."

John has no words. He looks at Rodney and only sees the man he shares his life with and whom he wants to build a future with. "I love you," John says quietly.

Rodney's eyes widen. "So a plane was all it took?" he jokes, though incredulity still swings in his voice.

John shakes his head. "What you're offering..."

"Is what I've always offered..." Rodney says. "I've been in love with you since you saved me. And not just out of gratitude. I've always wanted to save you back."

John thinks about how Rodney sold his body to pay off John's debt what feels like a lifetime ago. He'd wanted to save Rodney then, but Rodney was right. It had been the other way round really. Rodney had been the one who'd turned his life around.

"You did," John says and pulls Rodney into another kiss.


End file.
